Be it going out, or staying in and drinking, there’s always one person in your friend group who inevitably ends up playing mother/guardian to the entire gang. This is a feeling I personally know all too well, and if you relate to any of the following points – join the drunk mom club.
You’re always prepared: It doesn’t matter if this is going to be a low key affair where your friends and you talk about work and play boardgames, or a rager with 20 acquaintances – you know exactly what’s going to go down. You’re always armed with lemons, water bottles, snacks, good advice, the info to the nearest toilet and everyone’s address to Uber them home.
You’re the least drunk at all times: Owing to either your high sense of responsibility or high tolerance level for alcohol, you’re also always the least drunk. Cleaning up after people and screaming at them to lie down and take a break can be very sobering. Does that mean you enjoy yourself less? Probably.
You have the best stories: The best part about not being as drunk as the rest of your gang and being present everywhere at all times, is that you get to record all the drunken nonsense that your friends do. Use this information any way you please – post it on social media and get them likes, or save these pictures for when you really need a lavish dinner, if you know what we mean.
You receive many apologies: If you’ve had a wild night and helped many people through their drunken sojourns, you best believe that your phone will blow up with apology texts the next day. And with good reason too – you’ve saved most of your idiotic friends from potentially fatal falls and from making bad inebriated decisions and you’ve still gotten screamed at. You deserve apologies, bouquets and a great breakfast.
You’re always invited: People love calling you over, because they know that more often than not, you will end up helping them throw out the trash, put their guests to bed and still contribute to a fun night. And if you haven’t noticed already, you get the most drunken ‘I love you’s throughout the night. It’s good to be the responsible, fun one, isn’t it?
