The Marlon Brando of shady bars in errr… Andheri

If you feel like a morally responsible citizen of this country, you need to visit this gem of a place called ‘Adarsh Bar & Restaurant’ in Andheri West, just to bring some balance in your universe. But if you don’t give a fuck about your country, which is a lost cause anyway, then you definitely should visit this place because it would resonate strongly with your ill-conceived whims and fancies, apart from the absolute disregard you have towards your life.

Adarsh Bar & Restaurant - Andheri Lokhandwala(1)

Alright then, you’ve made an entry, and you’re just beginning to consume the morally questionable ambiance when your menu card greets you with a “Diet Cock”. At this point, you know it’s time to throw those teeny tiny bubbles of sophistication and morality left out of the bloody window.

While “Adarsh” is a hindi word for ideal, every frikkin’ bar in this city should treat this place as its idol. (I’ve thrown all my sophistication out of the window, but I very much have my sarcasm in-tact)

But let’s start from the beginning shall we?  Now the entrance of this place can easily be mistreated to be an entrance to a public washroom from the outside. Walk through the little frame and BAM, you’re in a completely different world! And such experiences must be experienced once in a while.

This place tries to take you on a different kind of trip right from the word GO with its intentionally fucked-up lighting, and you kinda get that, so no big fucks given there really. Just hop on, imagine getting a lap dance and enjoy the trip, yeah?

These guys have created three zones for the disillusioned bar patron, each separated from the other like it’s a fucking maze. The first zone is the non-AC zone, the second is an air conditioned “smoke friendly” zone, and the third is an air conditioned “No Smoking” zone. Can you believe these ass holes? The last zone however, totally looks like a place where you can secretly get a blow job. *Oops, have I gone too far? Should I bring some of my sophistication back? Fuck that!*

The waiters here try every possible trick in the book to extract a heavy tip from you, and their starting point is a not-so-funny joke while taking your first order. But you can’t help but smile for the poor fella’s effort. Not good enough for a tip though, my friend. Deliver booze at 3 am and you can win a jackpot. Come on, that’s the least one can expect from you if you’re employed in a place like this.

Expecting something unique in the daaru menu is like expecting to get laid tonight – you want it, but chanceAdarsh Bar - Andheri Lokhandwala(2)s are that you’re not going to have it. The only saving grace for you would be the fact that you’re not going to need to shell out too much money for that run-of-the-mill daaru, coupled with some lip-smacking chakna.

Talk about getting laid, what can you expect from your fellow patrons in a place like this? They all look like they’re desperate to get some action. Feel bad for those bastards.

With the menu card continuing to throw up one gem after another in the form of “Palpy Orange” and “Chinese Sea Food”, you’re assured of in-bar entertainment.

So if you’re looking for ‘cheap thrills’, then this is the place for you. But if you’re an ‘Adarsh Nagrik’, then this sure as hell is the place for you. Why, you ask? Go find out for yourselves.

Where? 736, Link Road, Adarsh Nagar, Andheri West

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Ashwin finds himself living two lives simultaneously; one in real life, and one in a parallel universe inside his head. He cannot come to terms with which one he enjoys more, so he prefers just going with the flow. In his own utopian world, every bar in the city he lives in serves craft beer.