A good representative of the ‘Lowest Common Denominator’ in every sense of the term

Alright, every now and then, we feel cheap, after which we feel like doing cheap things. One among the many things that we do when we feel that feeling is raid a cheap bar in Andheri like true cheapsters. Since we’ve overused the word ‘cheap’ by now, you’ve probably guessed the kind of place we’re bringing to you in this wonderful post. Let’s just say, it’s like taking a break from Masterchef Australia and watching ‘Sanjeev Kapoor Khazana’ on YouTube. Yikes!

When you look at the name VILAS Bar & Restaurant, which you cannot miss on a very noisy and polluted Link Road in Andheri West, you can pretty much gauge the “ambiance” you’re about to walk into, if that’s one of the things that falls in your consideration set when you go out to intoxicate yourself.

Enter VILAS, and ta-da: Just as you would expect, you’re in shady-land. Trust us, even if you brought the SUN inside this place, together with anything and everything that spells good values, this dingy den would remain shady as fuck.

Even before you warm your butt to the questionable seats, you are bound to notice not one, but multiple signboards that very directly, (almost like a SHOUT) asking you to refrain from sharing your ATM pin with the waiters. As direct as the signboards can be, VILAS indirectly tells you in more ways than one- “You’re surrounded by a pack of fucking thieves, and they’re all OUR waiters. Gulp your poison and get the fucking hell out of here.”

Like all bars of this nature, a very bad architect is the genius behind the demarcated zones that separate the air conditioned and non-smoking rooms from each other. However, if you want to kill yourself from a bronchial disease, just make your way into the suicidal air conditioned “smoke friendly” zone, where you would barely be able to see the person on the other side of the table. We’re surprised to have not just walked out alive, but also regain our fucking senses to bring these thoughts to you, which we now don’t know why we’re doing in the first place.

As for the fellow drinkers you’re likely to encounter here, wait let us paint you a picture… Imagine sidekicks of villains in Bollywood films from the 90s.

Places such as these are meant to fall in a particular category, which have certain standards of their own. VILAS would be a good representative of the Lowest Common Denominator in every sense of the term within its category, because this neither gives you the “feels” that it’s meant to give, nor does it provide any out-of-the-box daaru.

Apart from a neatly carved hand-written menu and cheap liquor (though these VIL-ASS holes don’t even deserve peanuts), there’s nothing noteworthy about this place.

However, if you do end up going, make sure to take care of your valuables, which would become irrelevant because you become a lost cause anyway, the moment you walk in. You might as well disappear from the face of this earth if you went here – even AFTER reading what you just did.

Where? New Link Road, Jivan Nagar, Next to Star Bazar, Near R.T.O., Andheri West

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Ashwin finds himself living two lives simultaneously; one in real life, and one in a parallel universe inside his head. He cannot come to terms with which one he enjoys more, so he prefers just going with the flow. In his own utopian world, every bar in the city he lives in serves craft beer.