I’m not one to shy away from trying unconventional foods and drinks but I am also a firm believer in not mixing mayonnaise with anything drinkable. Yet, people do their absolute best to prove that we, in fact, are not the epitome of evolution, by bringing together absurd ingredients and making them popular cocktails. (Of course, this is my opinion, you can go ahead and drink all this garbage if you want, you weirdo.)
Tapeworm shot
Are you in the mood for some really vomit-inducing, spine-chilling news? Yep, I’m about to talk about mayonnaise again. Someone thought it was a great idea to bring together vodka, tabasco sauce and a squirt (yes, a squirt) of mayo to create something so vile-looking that even I, who has once kissed the sole of a used shoe, gagged. See for yourself.
Infected Whitehead Shot
Have you ever thought about making a drink as an ode to your teenage acne? No? That’s strange, because one exists already and looking at it makes me want to cry. Who thought of this, and what is this strange obsession with mixing milk products with good liquor! Yep, it’s got cottage cheese mixed with vodka and Bloody Mary juice.
The Eggermeister
I thought I drew a line at milk and alcohol, but somehow the world wants to test me further. If you think pickled eggs are already fucked up, wait till you come face to face with the Eggermeister. Cut the pickled egg’s top and take out the yolk, fill a shot glass halfway with Jagermeister and then put the egg in it. Fill the egg cavity with more Jager and prepare to die.
Liquid Steak
Whenever I have rum, I always think – *sigh* I wish this were more meaty, you know? Said literally no one ever. And yet there is still some supply to no demand. Don’t worry, there’s no meet in it, just some Bacardi 151 and a little bit of Worcestershire sauce. All your dreams coming true, right?
New Jersey Turnpike Shot
I’m unsure whether I should even tell you about this. I don’t even feel like talking about it, but honestly, what are people upto? You know how gross the bar mat and the cloth used to wipe down bars are? Well, sometimes, some really wild, strange, sad people ask for these two things to be squeezed into a shot and actually drink it. Prepare to possibly fall sick instantly, throw up just at its thought or worse, enjoy it. Just don’t contact me if you do.
