How far would you go for your love? For alcohol, of course. Come on, we don’t talk about silly, dumb relationship shit here. We talk about the true, the very real, the dripping with emotions love: Love for liquor. So let’s get to the real question: How far would you go for it? A few yards? Or actually across a fucking sea? Well, I have done both and this is the story of the latter!
What happens when you go out of your fucking way for your love?
So I was always under the snooty  impression that drinking couldn’t get any better than the SoBo experience. But when I heard about this tiny cafe that lets you indulge in booze whilst watching the sun set, my mouth went bloody wide open. Now technically, this place isn’t SoBo. It’s a one hour ferry ride from SoBo. It didn’t take too long to come up with a plan. So at 5 in the evening, a bunch of dressed up friends stood at Jetti No 5, Colaba.
5 minutes into the boat ride, we regretted dressing up. The wind is fun and also, extreme. But your hair will become a giant bouquet and if you are wearing a dress, you are on your own bruh! But the thoughts of drinking by the beach was so exciting, I shushed my inner bitch and yelled – “This could be our new Goa, bitches!”
On arrival, we felt like we are looking at our semester mark sheets for a minute since Boardwalk by Flamboyante looked so mediocre from the outside. We entered and it felt like we have been rewarded some grace credits for being a good student. It’s a lounge that faces the sea, literally! You can sit in one of the chairs and look over a dark, beautiful beach and sip on beer. I think somebody from my group actually broke into tears.
Their menu, disappointingly so, is boring. We need to be honest here. For a place this exquisite, you need a kick-ass menu to maintain the standards. Hello, heard of fancy shizz like Squid and Calamari?
There’s a fair chance that a bunch of birthday brats or over enthusiastic bridesmaids will take over an entire corner when you happen to visit this place. But then hey, if they are being too noisy, you can always throw drinks at them and run out. There’s an entire beach out there.
After a couple of cocktails, this place will shut you up. And I tell you, I can’t shut up for more than 5 minutes without feeling suffocated. We actually sat there without talking, and I am not speaking philosophical mind-fuckery here. We were talli and zoned.
The worst part is that you can’t fucking just sit there feeling like a panda. You just can’t. The last ferry leaves at 8 and you’ll be stranded on the island for the night. That’s not the stress factor; a room at this place would effortlessly cost you tens of thousands.
The waiters look bored to their bloody death. They need to smile. They really do. Or maybe because after multiple rounds of drinks, I couldn’t read a thing from the menu and that kinda pissed them off every single time they came to take a fresh order. Hey, athithi devo bhava dude!
So at 7.50 pm, we strolled out of the place, weak and drunk. I don’t even know if it’s legal to ride the ferry when you are tipsy. I mean drunk people can do crazy stuff, you know.
The boat ride home was mind freaking blowing. In the starry night, under the sky, we felt like warriors about to invade the great north. So much so that we sang the GoT title track for hours! I don’t think the boat will ever take us back. ‘Tada tadada tadada’ for 20 minutes isn’t much fun for non-tipsy people.
Broke bitch absolutely recommends this place. A ferry ride + a drink + some food will cost you around 1500 bucks. But, for the loving memory of a never-happening Goa plan, we owe this to ourselves.
Where? Mandwa Jetty Road, Mandve, Maharashtra
