R’ ADDA is the kind of ordeal you think you’ve enjoyed, but at the same time want to forget as soon as you call it quits for the night. We learnt our lesson from a previous experience we wrote about, so we pre-booked a table and ensured we stuck to the couple entry rule, which really needs to be abolished soon…
Assigning random dudes to stalk you, two days after you’ve gone through their ordeal
Ramee Guesttline Hotel in Juhu houses a loud drinking joint on its top floor, quite literally over the top. It’s called R’ Adda. The wordplay is impressive, but think again and you realize that the name is ghastly underwhelming…
The first thing you realize when you put yourself through the ordeal called R’ ADDA is that you feel the pain even before you legitimately step foot inside the bar. The reason being the walk to the Ramee lobby and the wait you are made to endure to get into the lift, coupled with the number of painstaking staff you are made to encounter before you enter the god damn place…
You finally manage to enter, and the first thing you notice is the unusual amount of space in an Andheri pub. But alas! You can almost feel the air in the empty space being filled up by the pretence associated with wanna-be English pop junkies, who are deep down as local and desi inclined as what we call a “tharra”.
This was soon validated when the DJ quickly changed his playlist from English pop to Desi Punjabi. All the wanna-be air seemed to disappear, but the empty space was now filled up with intoxicated sweaty bodies jumping up and down to Punjabi beats. Before we knew it, R’ ADDA turned into a quintessential Andheri bar.
The crowd quadrupled, and the waiters soon became as inconspicuous as genuine comedy in a Rohit Shetty film. You will literally have to wave your asses off if you want to get the waiter’s attention because clearly, he and his fellow employees seem least interested to proactively come towards you. Much like putting in extra effort to smile and sometimes even fake laugh while watching Shetty’s films.
If you can’t beat them, join them – Get a little high and squeeze yourself onto R’ ADDA’s dance floor if you may, only to realise that you’re enjoying grooving to the loud beats. Before you know it, you’re dancing in a sea of drunk humanity. You might just feel like going and taking a dump in an actual sea, which is not too far away from here. Yes, we’re referring to the catastrophe that’s Juhu beach.
Things randomly got dark out of nowhere, as if the place lost power and switched to a generator or something. Lighting is an art, and undergoing transitions in your lighting in a bar is an even bigger art. What unfolded here reminded us of what happens when your office loses power.
The cheque arrives and you’re almost preparing to feel the pinch. But consider that you’re sitting atop a premium Juhu hotel and you might just be able to generate some flesh to feel the pinch a little less.
Two days after the ordeal, expect a Whatsapp text from an unknown number conveying “R’ ADDA’s pleasure of getting an opportunity to serve you.” You kind of get the sentiment, but when you think about the laziness of the move, it’s a deal breaker.
Here’s why… To the fellas at Ramee: Looks like you guys didn’t think through and create a dedicated contact number for YOUR Adda. Because if you had, it might have just reduced the feeling of being stalked by a Whatsapp profile which has some random dude wearing glares as its display picture.
Where? Ramee Guestline Hotel, 462, A B Nair Road, Juhu, Mumbai
