A few months ago, there was this hype around one of Goa’s most popular restaurants opening up in Mumbai. It goes by the name of Thalassa, a Greek restaurant owned by a Greek woman (yes), who decided to show the people of Mumbai that pure white walls do exist. Are you kidding me? Have you seen the filth that lies on Mumbai’s buildings?
Even the Greek gods have no answer for this convoluted experience
So we landed up at a rather odd hour of the day to check out Greece lady’s version of her Mumbai chapter of Greece. Why so complicated you ask? Well, that’s exactly how our experience was. You’ll figure why…
Now the first impression of the place is really good, notwithstanding the over-enthusiastic staff at the entrance. Take a chill-pill, guys. We know y’all are new to the city and all, but why so much excite? Just be…
Thalassa looks like a bungalow, with a front yard, a back yard and an air conditioned space in between, each decked up and looking different from the other. Impressive? Sure! But sometimes, too many options aren’t the best thing. I mean, ‘which part of this place has the most genuine Greek feel?’, you will be left wondering…
It was a pleasant day, so the AC space got knocked out by pure elimination. We trusted Bollywood and seated our butts in the space which resembled all those Hindi songs and films shot in Greece. Judging us? Oh, what the heck! We just wanted to drink and fuck off, after all.
Anyhoo, the waiters here (all gathered up in one corner of the bar as if they were all watching porn in someone’s cell phone) showed least interest to acknowledge our presence. In the meantime, we were left gazing at all the blue props, pretty windows, and white textured walls, in addition to a bloody expensive menu card.
We finally figured that nobody wanted us to sit out there because guess what, Pest Control! I mean, really? So let us get this straight – You’ve officially opened your doors to the public on the day; which means that they have the freedom to walk in anytime. And you decide to have pest control once then walk in? So apart from the fact that you weren’t prepared for the pests, you also make your guests get up and sit where you want them to (which didn’t quite have the same feel), when they probably wanted to feel like Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone in the Khuda Jaane song? Why Thalassa, why?
So we finally settle inside after all the bizarre and inexplicable confusion. If someone spoke to us in Greek at that point, we’d probably have comprehended that more easily than what just transpired.
Clearly, people were more interested to serve us inside. We wanted to drink our frustrations away, and that’s exactly what we did. These guys have a series of signature cocktails on the menu, priced Rs 500 on an average. Their Caipiroska cocktail priced at Rs 450 looked tall and elegant, but it didn’t make matters any better after all the seating confusion. The decor did its best to save the day for us, but the pests had the last laugh, and we were already looking forward to meeting valet uncle.
It was at this point that we figured that they have another space we hadn’t seen yet. Seriously, how big is this place? It was an underground ‘Bar nights’ area (with a bar counter of its own), where they decided to let go of their Greek theme and make it look like any other pub.
At the end of the day, we were made to pay a pretty huge price (monetarily and otherwise) for being given lesser importance than mosquitoes, and being given the snub by a large group of waiters (god knows what they were doing in that corner there).
We would like to give Thalassa another chance some day, but only if we get a personal invite from a Greek god, or fictitious Greek lady for that matter. (Apparently, she exists. She has a whole story and all. Google!)
Where? 21st Road, Off Carter Road, Khar West
