A quintessential ‘dive bar’, where creepy crawlies are an actual thing
In spite of being a lover of class and chic, my wretched friends thought it absolutely normal to dare me to go drinking at a pub of their choice. As if the other Andheri Anomalies we visited in the past weren’t their choice. But we thoroughbred townies never say no to a challenge.
If it weren’t for the challenge, the only other way I’d step into this place was if I were blindfolded. The place was called Bottles, for Chrissake! All wooden tables, low lighting and dirty floors – it was the quintessential dive bar. Ugh.
Bottles was one of those places where you wouldn’t want to look underneath your table. Yes, creepy crawlies are a real thing here. I probably finished all the tissue paper there was at the table, before I even sat down, trying to wipe the bench (yes, bench!) fit enough to sit and then the table to rest my elbows.
Once I felt safe, or rather less violated, I noticed my bearings; and I could sense the old me returning. Dear Bottles, putting up pictures of classic rock bands from the yesteryears, does not make you a Hard Rock Café. The ongoing Yo Yo Honey Singh tracks, and other Hindi songs I honestly haven’t even heard of before, were more the speed here.
But to their credit, the music was at such a volume that conversations actually resembled talking, and not the shouting matches that they are in some of these places.
.
Next came the booze. No food. I refused to touch it. Just booze that comes straight out of the bottle, thank you very much. After a quarter or so, the place started to grow on me, especially because they let you smoke indoors.
The drinks were well, straight liquor with mixers, can’t really go wrong there, thankfully. But what amused me was that Bottles had a list of Cocktails in their menu. That made me laugh. Just for fun next time I’d call for a Mai Tai. Do you even know what Cointreau is, Bottles?
Wait, did I just say next time? Yikes!
The merriment was short-lived. Just when I was getting weirdly comfortable, I needed to use the loo. One look inside and I ran straight out, grabbed my bag, got into a cab, got home and bathed in sanitizer.
I don’t think I’m meeting my friends for a month.
Where? JP Road, Andheri West
