This is the kind of place that you’ve driven or walked past a million times before thinking – “This place looks interesting”, without ever actually stopping to check it out. Until one fine day you finally do, and you realize that you should’ve just stuck to admiring it from a distance.
Where ‘East’ is a code word for ‘Identity Crisis’
Okay let’s state this at the very outset. Facing East is like any premium Chinese restaurant masquerading as an authentic Asian fine dining joint in the posh western suburb of Juhu… Yes, Facing East sits in a West suburb and literally faces the less pretentious East suburbs. But that’s not why they’re called Facing East.
‘East’ is probably a code word for ‘Identity Crisis’ here, because Facing East faces a bitter truth every single day, that’s right, a fucking identity crisis!
So you’ve got all the matter in place – You’ve got your dark wooden architecture emanating a rustic Asian feel, you’ve got your chopsticks neatly placed on every table which nobody ever uses, you’ve got your stock frames up on the wall with Chinese scripts, you’ve got your Chinese lamps and windows, and yet, you come across as being lost within the shambles of your own illusion…
Facing East has three clearly defined seating areas. One of the the two non AC spaces wears a completely different look than the other two, so much so, that it looks like a coffee shop. You read it right – A coffee shop for crying out loud! Talk about shambles and illusion… Identity Crisis 2.0?
Now why did the Leakers decide to check this place out in the first place? Because we found out that this Chinese Restaurant cum Fine Dine cum Coffee Shop cum Art Exhibition also offers alcohol. Alcohol at shamelessly exorbitant prices! So we’re paying almost 300 for a pint of beer with taxes, and almost 300 for a small Old Monk with taxes, but for what? It’s not like we’re getting a free lap dance or free porn inside or anything…
Oh and by the by, everybody working at Facing ‘not worth your money’ East has been told not to give a flying fuck about the people who decide to sit in their non AC zone. So to draw cinematic parallels, the non AC zone is today’s single screen theater and the AC zone is today’s multiplex. If both these zones were two big films releasing on the same day, the non AC zone is Sawaariya, and the AC zone is Om Shanti Om. Only time will tell which one is Raees and which one is Kaabil. 😉
Their chopsticks will remind you of those pencils you would die for in school, with an eraser on its butt. Okay to be fair, we
did notice someone using the chopsticks, but we won’t be surprised if that person did it out of peer pressure, because there were two more on that table who struggled their way with the chops.
When it’s time to pay the bill, you’ll feel like you’ve just been hit by a gigantic truck. It is at this point that we have realized the futility in describing this place further. O’ what the heck! We’re done…
Where? JVPD Scheme, Next to Naturals, Opposite Lotus Eye Hospital, 13th Road, Juhu
