Hoppipola in suburban Khar, a hotbed for the stinking rich in Mumbai, underwent a face-lift recently. We were waiting for the new Hoppipola to open before we brought this to you, because well, no point talking about something that was about to die right? Little did we know that the ‘new’ Hoppipola would be a rehashed version of its past – only louder, a lot more crowded, and increasingly filled with early twenty year old junkies… We’ll refer to this place as ‘Hoppi’ from here on, because that’s what the waiters here wear on their backs, with an enforced aim to spread ‘hoppiness’.
*Chirp Chirp!* Who’s there? *Noise!* Noise Who? *Noise Pollution*
Let’s give credit where it’s due first. Hoppi does have some interesting elements – distinct seating arrangements with some rather uniquely carved tables, a sense of occasion brought to life with a breathtaking Christmas tree made of beer bottles (will disappear soon), lip-smacking daaru snacks (their Harrisan Fish was orgasmic), and some beautifully presented cocktails (the LIT they got to our table turned us on with its smoky appearance)
Now with two highly popular, premium suburban party destinations bang opposite and staring down its face, Hoppi tries to outdo its competition by playing music at decibels that inflict pain on your eardrums. You know when someone shoves something forcefully down your throat? That’s how unwelcoming the music felt… Oh but then, they were only catering to the interests of their target group, which clearly has not changed from ‘then’ to ‘now’.
The old Hoppi was known for its youthful vibe, primarily because it became a popular drinking place for college going kids. The new Hoppi is all that and more – rich, spoilt, boys, girls, men, women, illicit drunkards… the young guns of tomorrow. Guns who ‘smoke’ up. *Gun intended*
Hoppi have carried forward their obsession with birds into their renovated hole, an obsession that we never understood and still don’t understand. The obsession is even more apparent now – the bird houses have stayed put (except that there are more now), a menu redesigned in the shape of a bird cage, and a gigantic circular seating area with an even bigger bird cage sitting atop its head. Consider the young ‘love birds’ that plague this hole, and Hoppi can turn into a human-bird sanctuary…
The way Hoppi differentiates its washrooms for the respective genders deserve a mention. The men’s washroom door is labeled #theoneswhostand, while a door that reads #theoneswhosit, greet the women. Okay Hoppi, as ‘cocky’ as your idea is (especially for those who empty their bladders while standing), I have a question for you – How do you think your waiters (all men) dump their poop? Where do customers like them go if they want to take a dump whilst getting drunk at your birdy hole? We’re getting too fundamental we know, but you get what we’re trying to say? #theoneswhostand, really?
All said and done, Hoppi sure does know how to present its cocktails. Yes, we already referred to it earlier, but we’ll just leave a picture here to give you an idea of how sexy our #LIT looked, redefining the cocktail for us…
There’s a point where you want to give Hoppi some more of your time, but the noise eventually makes you call it a night, on the brink of going deaf. Okay kids, you can sit down and make out now, because you’ve just got yourself a table.
Where? 759, 5th Lane, Ram Krishna Nagar, Khar West, Mumbai
