Bar Hopping is all fun and games until the last bar you visit sucks all the positivity and ‘high’ out of the night you’ve just had. Kaitlyn’s Beer Garden, which is neither a garden nor a dream destination for beer aficionados, fucked my fun night over and I don’t even know where to start. Argh!
Possessing superpowers to ruin your amazingly drunken bar hopping night
Kaitlyn’s is supposedly a beer garden and I was bloody intrigued. What’s a beer garden? Are there trees with beers on it? Then that would be the closest to nature my fuckall group would ever be. It’s also because the name Kaitlyn has been in the air for too long. If you have been living under an actual fucking rock, and have been protected from the truckloads of bullshit called the Kardshian’s universe, that name might not strike you. So Kaitlyn! The name proved to be perplexing and scandalous; be it a person or a lounge.
Situated opposite the hot and happening Junkyard cafe, this place must feel like a typical Indian child suffering with an inferiority complex because of a much superior neighbor. When we were entering a more or less empty Kaitlyn’s, Junkyard was bustling (Yep. Sharmaji ka beta Junkyard is). But hey, it’s still in the heart of Bandra, the land of stoners and chillers,and there is no freaking way on earth that Kaitlyn’s is disappointing us. Or so we thought!
This place is on the second floor of McDonald’s and one of the hundred cafes in Bandra. Don’t worry if you find yourself looking behind the building ka ‘khopcha’, the lift is right there.
The lift is damn shiny and I think it’s bloody smart. Much before you enter the place and be at the receiving end of judgmental looks from the snooty waiters, the lift just shows you how fuckall you look. Good work, Beer Garden. I looked like a homeless child and I was prepared.
Surprisingly and a little sadly, there was nobody in there. A small group of retards were celebrating someone’s birthday at 10.15 pm. I am assuming college children with a deadline of 10.30. Priorities bro. Birthday can wait, father would whip our asses smoother than the icing of the cake.
The ambiance is weird. Period. It’s confusing to a new level. First of all, why do they call it a garden? Did they think that the pillars turning into tree trunks will represent a garden? If yes, have they ever seen an actual garden? Also, if it’s not an open terrace, why the fuck did you call it a garden? The isolated cute pebbles on the floor made me a little dizzy! That’s it. BOO, FAAAILLL!
Also there’s a very suspicious looking stack of things covered in black clothes in one corner of the room. What are those? Garbage? Playboy magazine? Weaponry? Why does this place look like someone forced you to open it?
We had some beers and a Pina Colada. It’s a beer garden , so drinking slightly overpriced beer shouldn’t have pinched me so much, but damn it. The pina colada, however, was lovely. Very coconutty, very Hawaii; we all loved it. Their food menu is again, fancy but expensive. Why dude, why? It’s beer we are here for. Don’t we deserve some food that wouldn’t make us broke for the rest of the month?
With nothing really to write home about, Kaitlyn’s contains special powers of sticking out like a sore thumb on an amazingly drunken bar hopping night. If you are going through an identity crisis, this is just the place for you.
Where? 201, 202, Khan House, Hill Road, Above McDonald’s, Bandra West
