The road just outside Khar station is a gold mine for drunk fucks, because it presents a tempting opportunity for us ‘bewdas’ to indulge in bar hopping across 5 drinking joints, all of which are situated on a meager 100 meter stretch. While Lady Liquorich has already given her two cents on one of them, we’re bringing you Light House Café today, before we eventually knock each of the other 3, one by one.
Among all the joints that make Khar station a popular drinking destination, Light House Café arguably looks like the most appealing from the outside. No no, we didn’t judge a book by its cover, we’re just saying nice things about the cover before we begin to give our unsolicited opinions about the book. So here we go…
If you’re a lamp and bulb person, LHC is that orgasm you get when you’re not getting a real one. The amount of bulbs in here (placed inside colorful jars even) can actually light up a whole village, and there are many in India that desperately need light. LHC, you listening?
We’ve not come across a watering hole in Mumbai that has a dedicated seating area JUST for its bar. And no, we don’t mean dedicated seating at the bar counter like any other hole, but a dedicated pedestal just in front of the bar counter with high tables and chairs. Funnily though, this space looks like a decorated wedding mandap.
Their DJ looked as dysfunctional as Donald Trump’s intentions with America, and he being seated behind a boring counter that resembled a ticket window didn’t make matters any better.
Bars in Mumbai love splashing smart, sometimes cocky, and sometimes miserably boring copy on their walls, or wherever else applicable. With LHC, it was on DJ wale babu’s ticket window. Needing shitloads of improvement in this area, LHC hits a new low in bad copy. With lines like “Born to Party, Forced to Work” and “I don’t get drunk, I get awesome”, they either need to take down their words, or just hire a more innovative copywriter for fuck sake.
These guys have quite an expansive menu, having the power to make a cocktail lovers’ eyes pop out. And then that dreaded three figure brings those eyes back to its place, almost saying “Aukaat mein reh.”
So how often does a book actually live up to its cover? It’s as often as finding a working ATM today. Light House Café is that rare ATM which actually works, until it runs out of cash just when you don’t want it to.
It’s time to switch off our own lights and go to sleep now! #BetterLuckNextTime, we guess.
Where? 3rd Road, Khar West, Mumbai, Maharashtra 400052
