On a thursday, when we had nothing to throw back or front, we really, really, needed something to cheer us up or in other words, get bloody drunk. Our conquest to find this cool shizz called Lume All day Bar and Cafe failed miserably when fucking Google Maps took us to a suspiciously spacious and empty housing society in Andheri East, after our closest options were three equally creepy looking bars right below Andheri Metro Station. After a quick inspection of all three, we picked Shree Krishna Lunch Home & Bar.
This Krishna has never seen a Gopi
This place is filled with South Indians. Actually, I think this entire bar is run by a family, a surprisingly big one, from Andhra. You see Telugu papers, Tirupati Murukan and them. getting scandalized and gasping in Telugu because a girl just walked in. As usual, this bar has two sections and I walked right into the AC floor. This is was my walk of shame because I could feel eyes scanning me upside down and reassuring themselves that they are in fact looking at a girl at 10 PM in their adda (probably).
May be these morons have an undying love for the feels of that shady part of the bar or it’s just way too overpriced according to them, the AC portion was fucking empty. Any other scenario, that will be a huge bonus. Today, when I know that this place is shaken with a girl’s presence, it’s creepy as hell.
We sank in those weird wall couches and realized that it’s not spacious enough. Sure, we are tall people. But why the hell are both my knees banging against a freaking iron rode that’s under the table? The AC was functional, thank God! With roofs that’s probably 3 feet above from our heads, we need all the ventilation we can.
Once again, we were over-attended. A main waiting staff threw the menu right on our faces before walking away. Someone else came with water and a third person brought the plates. Obviously all of them were telugu speaking. With seven people standing less than 10 meters away from us, we fucking felt performance pressure while ordering and as usual, we underperformed.
Shree Krishna doesn’t give a fuck about your modern attitude towards drinking. Sorry bitches, we only serve liquor for real drinkers! Cocktail wocktail, our ass. We stayed true to our love for beer and tried our luck with their culinary skills. Despite being so true to their language and speaking it (even discussing about me for a bit) for two hours we were in there, their menu was still freaking mughlai. Chicken in orange gravy, paneer in orange gravy and the wrath of orange gravy. Be a true blue Telugu and serve us some Neer Dosa, will you?
Their palak paneer pleased both my unhealthy and my fitness freak friend’s taste buds. But I wanted to puke it all back into a bowl and leave it there as a gross as fuck protest method because they charged bloody 30+ bucks for teeny tiny peanut packets. And we being desi at heart had consumed half a dozen of them. So, the bill of 1200 came as a shock. Bc, ek toh inka chutiyapa and stares sahun, and then pay a bill worth this much. What has life come to? Did we underestimate the shadiness of Andheri East?
We split our bill, got out, stood right outside and trying to breath fresh air. That’s when it struck us, are, local railway station is right here. RIGHT HERE! Guess who didn’t take a cab and tallied the entire night?
Where? Sir Mathuradas Vasanji Rd, Opposite Police Station, Sai Baba Wadi, Natwar Nagar, Andheri East
