What is life without suspense? If everything is ordinary, there is no fun. And the easiest way to be unpredictable is to get really drunk. You can start off at a fancy bar in a precious LBD and still end up in a cattlehouse on the outskirts of the city in the same dress (but dirtier). That’s how adventurous and incalculable the outcome of crazy drinking nights are. Here are a few scenarios you could be a part of after a great night of getting wasted.
In the washroom: This may seem normal, but you aren’t there to fix your compact or to click selfies. You are there to throw your entire intestine out because you took that 8th shot although everyone including your own conscious told you not to. And it could get even better if your head gets stuck inside the toilet seat (trust us when we say, it’s not pleasant).
In a stranger’s house: There are three categories of this: A. A kind stranger who willingly took you home because you were too drunk to even crawl. This is a rare species. B. A neutral stranger who isn’t kind or anything, but had to take you home because he/she had no choice and C. Some weirdo, who seemed attractive to you after 5 Cosmos and now looks like a human version of the Grinch.
On the pavement: Home? Where is that? Basic Hygiene? Never heard of it. Who’s drunk? Not me. I don’t need no bed, Imma nap right here and now. Every drunk pavement sleeper ever.
In the police station: It’s all fun and games, when you are drunk and dancing in the middle of the highway, until the police catches you. Thanks to Bollywood, we have romanticized this incident enough. But when you are actually standing in front of a policeman’s desk and hungover, it’s not a bonding moment. If anything, it’s a blame game championship. ‘Daaru isne pilaya’, ‘car isne roka, but sir, isne pi nai’, ‘dance karna kiska idea tha bey?’ It gets even more interesting when the parents enter. Take my word for it, you don’t want that.
On a ship, train, bus, flight to someplace unknown: Alcohol makes you adventurous. In fact, way too adventurous. And when you wake up in a moving mode of transport, the first thing that hits you is the realization that you don’t know where the fuck you are off to. Second thing would be the fact that you bought the tickets yourself and man, that hits you like a truck on the Gurugram highway.
