This is the kind of place that you probably wouldn’t have heard about, until you accidentally happen to visit. But sometimes, accidents can also be good for the soul. But, most times…
Making you go ‘All Style, No Substance’ for the nth fucking time
I think the only thing that can feel better than drinking alcohol in a Gastropub is having sex in a Gastropub. But I’d still prefer the former.
With a bunglow-esque feel from outside calling out to you, the moment you step foot inside ‘The House’, you feel like you’ve entered a house that you can afford in Mumbai only if your money stinks with the smell of RICH, and even that might not be enough. It might also make you feel miserable about the cramped space in which you have to go back to that night.
So you have your ‘designer’ plants, you have your fancy furniture and cushions, some premium looking artifacts displayed on customized walls, throw in those homely windows as well and voila! – Your interior designer gets the brief right… So simple, no? It’s a fucking BAR for crying out loud!
These guys spent so much of their time and energy on doing up the place that they probably had no steam left whatsoever to innovate with the daaru menu, which is fine by me. As long as your food lives up to your ‘Gastropub’ tag.
The mutton chops were hardly visible when they arrived, and that was not because of the dim lighting, in case you are wondering. But, they were fucking good. Bad portions, good taste and all that…
The waiters have SMIRNOFF written on their chests. You guys are brand ambassadors or what? In fact, I don’t like SMIRNOFF anymore thanks to you poor souls who are forced to wear those shoddy uniforms with a brand like SMIRNOFF in front of your left nipples.
Last but certainly not the least, these guys engage you in open mic performances by errr… artists? “Open mic with Vasuda” is what the placard on my table said. Exactly, who the fuck is Vasuda?
You know what, now that I think about it – I might as well have sex here than drink and eat… No, they don’t have rooms here in case you’re considering coming here to get laid… Go get your own room.
Where? Bungalow 1, JP Road, Mumbai
