We all know that feel of being perenially broke, somehow scrounging up enough to have a night out and then coming face-to-face with the fact that our friends are somehow extremely well-to-do, even at the end of the month. This is the sad tale of what happens when you drink with these Ambani-esque buddies of yours.
Going out: Why, oh why, do your friends have to always head out when they could just as easily sit at home and drink the same thing? You know how much cheaper it is to just call in (or even cheaper to just head to the wine shop yourself)? But no, your rich af friends want to head to a club where every drink is worth a kidney and an eye.
The side-dishes: We get it, you’re hungry. But there’s Maggi and masala peanuts at home! Why do you have to go out and order 17 side-dishes with names that can’t be pronounced? And please, for the love of god, if the extra bacon is chargeable, just let it go. And don’t ask me to split if I just had one peanut – I had one peanut so I wouldn’t have to pay!
The drinks: No, of course you aren’t going for a trusty Kingfisher Premium or a Blender’s Pride. You want to have your Jager bombs and Glenfiddiches, and then when us poor people make our order, the waiter’s going to believe we’re your good deed for the day. And don’t you dare order champagne in front of me, or we’re going to have a fistfight.
The parties: God forbid we’re invited to one of your parties and happen to actually shamelessly show up. Why do they all feel like Richard Branson left you his entire inheritance? What happened to the good ‘ol college days of joining our pocket money and sharing an adda between us? This is way too OTT.
Going home: There’s a point in time during the night where I need to cut off drinking if I need to wake up with even 5 bucks in my bank account, so could you please stop ordering another martini (who orders martinis, man) and head home with me? I don’t mean to be a party-pooper, but I’ve lost my father’s house drinking with you, so you could make a concession for me once. Or buy me a drink, whichever one works.
