Why Every State Should Ban Booze

I have some very convincing and compelling arguments to put forth about why every state should ban liquor. And if you all are with me, I shall send this petition to the respective governments too, in proper sarkaari babugiri hierarchy.

You can finally come up with new methods to generate revenue: Since so much money is coming from alcohol purchase, our states sadly can’t come up with any novel ways to generate revenue. Ban booze and tada! You have a huge-ass blackhole in your revenue. Now brainstorm, come up with sansakaari-er ways to earn money. Interesting, no?

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Less money spent during elections: Try and deny it all you want, you (as in your party/sponsor/ industrialists that you pretend to fight in the open) have poured in a lot of money in buying alcohol and influencing the voters. Ban booze and you don’t have to do that. Cool, no? Think about all the funds you will save!

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Less work for the police: Because yes, all the major corruptions/scams/conspiracies apart, a dude who was found with a bottle of beer on the road is a real headache to the judiciary. How dare they? What a severe crime!

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No drama on TV: It looks like Indian TV seriously counts on alcohol to make the suhaag raat and accidental coitus plot line happen. For the love of us viewers, please ban booze so no one can come up with these absurd stories. Pliss, this is public service. Help!

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All those union territory places will finally be sanskaari: You guys are anyways okay with banning pretty much anything that people love. You have banned the meat that must not be spoken about. Now in Goa, you can’t drink in the open. Why would I ever go to a union territory anymore? Even better, all those firangs will stop coming. Fuck the tourism industry, who cares. We need a booze-free India!

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