When the going gets tough, the tough get going, but sometimes you need to take a break from it all and enter a five-star hotel just to pretend that you’re rich and want to enjoy the sunny beach off the coast of our famous Juhu beach. If you’re lucky, you might spot a ship at bay.
Great way to pretend to be rich
I remember coming here in the good ol’ days, when we snuck in to see what all the fuss was about, and then figured out that we were only in this position because we wanted to be freeee and enjoy Juhuuuuu!
First things first – Gada Da Vida is next to Juhu fucking beach, and thank heavens, for the wall barrier is just tall enough so as to not see the skew of children pooping in the hot sun. The way the breeze hit my hair, the way the food smelled so good, and the way my waiter said “Sir Order?” Basically you cannot sit there for free beyond 20-30 minutes… Like you can fuck around there, but beyond a point they insist that they make revenue. Damn it corporate bars, damn you to hell and back.
This is the perfect place to take a date and then order nothing. Okay, coffee maybe, which is next to nothing. Hey, don’t get me wrong, their food is brilliant, but the bill is the part of my appetite that gives me indigestion.
The music is great too; really loud like it blasts through your ear drums but just about enough, sort of like a lounge. I think they’re still experimenting though. But who cares, as long as I get to pretend to be a rich black money types fellow, who’s ordering whiskey on the rocks and wants to watch the latest Sunny Leone video but his mobile network is too slow.
Thank you Jio. Jubh Jubh Jio – Unlimited 4G so that rich uncles can ignore their wife and kids and scratch their inner pockets while browsing WhatsApp forwards of boobs and shit. Like fuck uncle, what are you doing? You don’t need to be tipping the waiters that much just so they give you the Wi-Fi password. Aapka mobile data is good enough. We are in the middle of the beach and we are in paradise. Put your fucking phone down.
But I digress. I think the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. That’s what works for men. What works for women? I don’t know. But I know this – if you screw up with your chick and can’t make it up, take her here. Period. Sorry baby, please call me!
Where? Novotel Mumbai Juhu Beach, Lobby level,Novotel, Balraj Sahani Marg, Juhu Beach
