From the celebration of birth to the reminiscence at death, and everything in between, life gives us many reasons to come together. A toast is something that can make or break such an occasion, along with your image in the minds of your audience. So, if you’ve been chosen to deliver one by friends or family, and feel nervous, you’re right to feel that way, but don’t let it get to you. Let’s brush your toasting skills so that your social credit doesn’t get toasted, yeah?
Do’s and Don’ts When Giving A Toast
You’re hopefully here not at the last minute, but a while before that. Even if you have time to spare there’s no point in boring you with a long history lesson of toasts. The Greeks and Romans started it and we still do it. The question is less about “How to do it?” and more “How to do it well?” (we’re still talking about raising toasts, relax).
So here’s a list of do’s and don’ts on how to raise a good toast. Remember these as you make yourself the center of attention of the party.
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DO Dress To Impress
Toasting is a pretty big deal (big enough to have you look up how to do it well!) While most believe that it’s all about speaking well, which it is, you also call attention to your person when you toast. Your physical appearance matters and should be taken seriously. If there is a dress code in place, follow it, be well groomed and presentable.
If you need any more motivation than “not looking like a slob” to dress well enough for the toast, how about the fact that you might look good around your partner’s arm, or might end up around one’s arm?
DON’T Be Over The Top
Pop culture will have you believe that striking a glass is a good way to start your toast, but we recommend against it. People are minding their own business and can easily mistake your attempt at toast for a utensil accident, and you don’t want shattered glass on your table either. You’re trying to deliver a speech, let your intent show as much from the very beginning. A simple “Can I have your attention please?” can go a long way.
So skip the “utensil orchestra”. Unless you’re planning to break into a whole ass performance of a musical arrangement, which we recommend against because…
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DO Stay Brief
We’re sure you have a lot to say, you bumbling, bubbly, buddy, but every guest is a Dr. Dre or a Snoop Dogg fan, and they’re getting ready for the next episode. The toast is a cue to begin the next segment of the congregation. Think of it as the starting gun before a race. There could be other toasts in queue, people waiting to begin eating and/or drinking (you do toast BEFORE a meal or party, not after). Don’t let the gun that starts the race turn into the gun that holds the racers (or racists?) hostage.
So don’t hold up, or wait. Speak your piece, and move on. No more wondering about how to raise a good toast.
DON’T Load Up On The Booze
We get it, toasting is a big deal, there are preset protocols in place, and there’s a lot that can have you walking the tightrope of your nerves. We also get that being surrounded by booze might make you want to take a couple of swigs to loosen up. If you can’t bet your social credibility on your ability to hold your booze, and spirits could knock your speech and screws loose, alcohol will NOT be on the list of DOs.
We all know that one funny uncle/aunt that really messes up the entire event’s vibe. Break the generational cycle, be better!
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DO Know Your Audience
We believe this goes without saying, but know who you’re speaking to when you toast. You could be talking about the same person, but what you say changes based on who’s listening. Your best bro’s getting married and you’re toasting at the bachelor party AND the reception? Well, the “fun times” that would make all your bros LOL at the bachelor party, would give Granny a heart attack at the reception. Similarly, a toast to your work bestie at their personal going away party could end up with you cleaning out your desk if you don’t filter your “shenanigans”!
Improv goes a long way too. You speech might be pristine and could land perfectly with the entire audience, but read the room before you start it. Where there are people, there could be some friction that your rehearsal didn’t account for. Feel free to drop parts of your toast that might add fuel to any fires.
DON’T Force Humor
We are willing to forget what the world says, play the devil’s advocate, and believe you when you say you’re funny, hilarious even. However, remember that you are hosting a toast, not a roast. So, drop the “R rated” stuff, and add some Tales that are wholesome and easy to stomach by a wider audience.
A good rule of thumb is to stay PG-13. Any and all jokes that run the risk of not landing too well, could very well just crash and burn, so avoid them. Tell them to your friend(s) in private some other day.
On a more serious note though, the point of a roast is to salute someone or something, not be disrespectful. Keeping that in mind, say what you want to have remembered about you and the subject of the toast, not the stuff that would drag them through the mud.
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Tips For Toasting
Apart from the DOs and DON’TS, here are a few general guidelines that can act as a stencil for you to build your toast around:
- Maintain eye contact with your audience. You don’t need to look into their souls, but linger with everyone’s gaze long enough to let them know that you’re talking to them.
- If you aren’t the host of the occasion, make sure that whoever is knows that you intend to toast. This will help them organize the event accordingly, and might even make it easier for you to get the audience’s attention before you speak.
- Remember to thank the host, both for organizing the event and giving you an opportunity to speak.
- Make the ending obvious. Don’t let the audience guess if your toast is over. Use phrases like, “Cheers!”, or “Here’s to the host/subject.”
- Let the host toast first. Not only is this the more courteous thing to do, it can also help ready the audience to be in a mood to use their ears instead of their mouths.
Also Read: How To Say Cheers In Different Languages
Summing Up
A toast is a not-so-inner monologue, and depending how you deliver it, could become your hero or villain origin story. While public speaking is definitely a skill that can help you in this situation, if you don’t have the time to practice, here’s a little secret, “Fake it till you make it!” The audience has not done a background check on you and doesn’t know that you’re about to lose yourself because your knees are weak and arms are heavy! Go out there, take a deep breath, have a chill conversation with the audience, and you might just end up surprising yourself.
Na Zdorovie, Salud and Cheers! Now you know how to raise a good toast.
FAQs
What Are The Rules For Toasting?
There is no rule book for toasting, however, a general rule of thumb is to be brief, respectful, and sincere.
What Is The Proper Way To Make A Toast?
For a proper toast, gently get everyone’s attention, stand (if possible), speak your piece, and end with a cheer. It’s as simple as that!
What Do You Say When Toasting?
A toast doesn’t have to be a long drawn out speech or anything to worry about. A toast is a speech to congratulate people for their achievements and honor them. So, focus your attention on the achievements (embarrassing jokes can wait), be respectful, and sincere, and you should be good.
What Are The Rules For Cheers?
When you are done with your toast, a clear way to end it is with a cheer. You simply raise your glass, and say something like, “Cheers!” or “Hear, hear!” to finish your toast.
What Is The Order Of Toasting Etiquette?
Before you make a toast at a gathering, wait for everyone to get a drink/something to eat, and find a place to sit and be seated. Once you see that the audience has settled, get there attention and begin your toast.
What Not To Do In A Toast Speech?
Here are a few things to avoid when making a toast:
- Being crass or rude.
- Being disrespectful to the host, event or audience.
- Criticizing the people attending for no good reason.
