So there’s a saying in Mumbai that you can get anything at anytime in this city. Here’s a list of the top 5 worst places to stop over after a night of drinking like a lost boomerang drowning in the river (Sherlock reference here for the real fans #sherlocked)
Sagar Chinese (JVPD): This place is open till 4 am, and it crawls with the filth of humanity every weekend. With so much fucking coloring thrown into their food, it’s a place I often visit to feed to my building dogs. If you’re heading back from an awesome night of drunkery and tindering (by Uber I assume), you should speed by this place as soon as you cross it. I admire Sagar’s courage for being open for 10 years in JUHU without so much so as a fucking hiccup in operations. Solid underworld contacts = Long term bad khaana.
Ayub’s (Kala Ghoda): Regardless of the fact that you walk right out of a dingy bar into this famous eatery, it’s still one of the worst places to visit to eat from a pure quality perspective. Sure, their food will taste good when you’re drunk off your ass, but will it really blend well with the very cheap booze you just swiped clean from your favorite bar or discotheque? I fear not, good sir. I fear not.
Ice & Rolls (Mithibai College) – Enough of the same old Dosa (with sweat) and Sambar (with other relevant fluids), those bland rolls with food coloring inside their Schezwan sauce, and those odd cars that blast Justin Beiber at 3 am. Come on drunk teenagers looking for that next high, don’t lower your standards! Listen to Calvin Harris instead.
Sigdi (Bandra) – Open till 4 am (God Damn!) on some days and infused with the quintessential smells of Bandra Talao, this place needs to be recognized as one of the corner-stones of stoner munchies. But alas, this place has gone down in quality over the years and isn’t what it used to be during its hay-days; of their prime “maaal phook ke daal thoos ke” days
Smokin Joes (Goregaon) – So this place is for when you’re so drunk, you want to go home, crash, and order a fucking pizza. Smoking Joes is open till 3 am delivering on most days, and I must say – it’s fucking terrible. I’ts got the charm of an open sewer thela next to a fish market, and got the taste of a cardboard cutout of an empty shoe box.
You’re probably wondering why we’re being so harsh to some of the eateries mentioned above. Well, we’re probably just too drunk and hungry right now!
