Growing up, we all had our reasons for flipping through the pages of the newspaper, and one of the highlights was definitely the section on zodiac signs. There’s something undeniably fun about reading what the stars have to say about our future and what the day might hold. But did you know that zodiac signs can offer insights that go beyond just daily predictions?
Think about it: we’ve all been in that state where we’re 4 drinks down and the music suddenly seems to be reverberating through our ears. There are 10 missed calls from our dad but we’re too woozy to construct and process any cohesive thought. If that sounds all too familiar, you might be curious about what kind of woozy you are based on your zodiac sign. After all, who doesn’t love a little light-hearted justification with a sprinkle of astrology? Let’s dive into it and see what the stars have to say about your party persona!
Aries (March 21 – April 19): Daredevil
We all have that friend who becomes a daredevil once they’re 4 shots deep. Suddenly, they’re transported to the sets of Khatron Of Khiladi. Shots? Done. Dance-offs? Done. Tell them the riskiest dares and they’ll finish them like their life depends on it. Aries become fearless (or reckless) once they’re woozy and also become the most daredevil extroverts they’ve been in their life. And, keep a tight grip on your bike keys, because they’ll almost always insist on taking you for a dramatic bike ride, as if they’re the star of a Bollywood movie!
Taurus (April 20 – May 20): The Foodie
If you’re like Joey and don’t share food, then Taurus is the sign you’ll want to protect your food from – unless you’re keen on sharing, of course! They’ll be the ones bombarding you with the whereabouts of the biryani you ordered a while ago, and guard that biryani like it is their birthright. They’re the kind of party animal who will wipe out the entire charcuterie board while others spill the tea! Blink your eyes and off they’ve gone with that last slice of pizza. Oh, and after the party, you’ll find them at the nearest paan stall, haggling with the paan vendor to add some extra ‘meetha’. Good luck with them!
Gemini (May 21 – June 20): The Overfriendly
A few drinks in, and Gemini turns into a whirlwind of chatter. They’ll flutter around the bar, making friends with the strangest of strangers, and loudly cracking unsolicited jokes. They’ll chat with random people like they’ve been best buddies for decades, from the bartender to the security guard. Their woozy texts make up for some great meme fodder, and they concoct stories that’ll keep you hooked throughout the night. And, expect some oversharing because of boundaries – who? Gemini people are usually reserved about their emotions, but once they’re woozy, you’ll meet them in an avatar that seems like they’re in a parallel world.
Cancer ((June 21 – July 22): The Emotional
When Cancerians become woozy, it’s your cue to keep some tissues handy. Why? They’re the emotional elves who’ll go back in time and reminisce about the good (or bad) times. They’re the ones who’ll either cry about their mom, ex, or a best friend that they talk to no more. So, expect a lot of melodrama and hugging, because their love for you is about to overspill. Cancerians also give the warmest hugs, and when they’re woozy, they’ll hug you like it’s your last day on Earth. But, beneath all that crying, what lies is a pure heart, so cherish them!
Leo (July 23 – August 22): The Performer
For Leos, all the world’s a stage and they take it way too seriously! When they’re under the influence, you’re in for some free entertainment. Expect them to snatch away your karaoke mics and dominate the dance floor. They’re the ones who’ll insist on you and drag you down to the dance floor to shake a leg with them. With their unabashed spirit, they add more life to the party and make sure everyone is vibing. But beware of their dancing confidence, because they’re the last ones whom you should challenge in a dance-off if you want to win.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22): The Caretaker
Virgos should get an award for being the most caring and organized when they’re under the influence. While everyone else is busy falling and swaying tipsy on drinks, Virgos become walking reminders – reminding everyone to sober up slightly. They’ll make you sit down and insist that you eat at least a few bites of food. Trust Virgos to ensure that you reach home safely because they’ll make extra efforts to book your cab, escort you out of the club, and track your location until you’ve reached your home. Virgos are a true gem, aren’t they?
Libra (September 23 – October 22): The Flirt
Enter Libra – with a few drinks down, they’re set to flirt with anyone and everyone who crosses their path. They’re the ones who’ll demand the DJ to play the most romantic Bollywood songs to set the vibe just right. And, they’ll be the ones to make unbreakable eye contact as they analyze the entire club from their bar seat. Trust them for the best cocktail recommendations, and who knows they might even buy you a drink!
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): The Mysterious
Trust Scorpios to bring a mysterious vibe to the party when they’re woozy. We’re talking about the captivating energy they bring to the party that hardly goes unnoticed. They might brood in a corner, swirl around on the dance floor, and then instantly vanish into thin air. You might also see them across the bar sipping their drink in the most enigmatic way possible – like they’re carrying the world’s secrets with them. They’ll most likely ignore you, but it is too hard to ignore the divine entities Scorpios become when they’re under the influence.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): The Adventurous
Aries and Sagittarius exhibit similar patterns when drinks enter their stomach – they’re just a little too keen on adventure! When they’re three Margaritas woozy, Sagittarius people start planning world domination. We’re talking about world tours, climbing Mt. Everest, and deep-diving into the Panama Canal, and they’ll be the best ones to convince you of it. Their energy is deeply infectious, and while you’re trying to make sense of what they’re trying to say, the best bet is to just keep saying ‘yes’ to all their answers.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): The Business Guys
Capricorns are born to lead, and there’s no denying that. Even when they’re woozy on vodka, expect them to unleash their authority over the minutest of things. They’ll be the ones micromanaging the beer pong game, they’ll be the ones assigning everyone a comfortable seat in the bar and did we get to the best part? The bar suddenly transforms into a boardroom for them. Suddenly, they’re discussing how they should’ve invested in that one stock, or how they almost launched their start-up on a random Thursday. It’s entertaining listening to their corporate jargon, but expect some unexpected meltdown anytime soon.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): The Debater
Did someone switch to the news channel on television? Team Aquarius, when under the influence, become the most fluent debater. Expect them to find a new perspective on life, and they’ll share it with everyone including the bartender who’s already had enough of everyone. They’re the ones teaching everyone how to moonwalk and recreate that one viral stop-motion trend. And, politics is like their birthright topic of debate. Sitting in a bar at 1 AM, they’ll be the ones telling what geopolitical strategies USA, China, and Russia should implement. And we recommend not debating with them if you value your ‘unsobered’ night.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20): The Dreamy
Like the true blue Pisces they are, these whimsical beings think life is all a dream once Martinis have entered their gut. Expect nothing less than a blend of whimsical daydreams and piping-hot drama. They’ll cry over the most nostalgic song playing on the dance floor and recollect all the good and bad memories of their life. They’re the ones who’ll be writing you illegible poetry on the bar napkins and offering you a generous sip of their drink. Oh, and once they’ve crossed the threshold of sobriety well enough, you’ll see them vanish in their wonderland for the night!
Summing Up
Cheers to embracing your inner zodiac sign every time you raise the glass. Sip and enjoy and own the bar like it was always yours. Drink responsibly and most importantly have fun. And, if you end up creating some drama, just blame it on your sign. After all, we all love to blame the consequences of our actions on our zodiac signs, don’t we?
