Drunk people have to be the most entertaining people on earth. From being downright absurd to being overly sensitive, you never know what kind of new drunk you’re going to meet. Here’s a handy guide to a few drunks you will definitely be friends with or at least witness once in your life.
The Philosopher: Everytime you get even slightly tipsy, you know this person is going to start reading out of his book of quotable quotes. Be it life, relationships, friendships, the moon, the sun, spirituality or horses – they manage to make everything sound deeper than they were ever meant to be. While this can be annoying sometimes, this is the person to go for when you need to open up to when drunk.
The Emotional One: Nothing opens up people like alcohol does. Even the strongest people will eventually veer towards some sentimental conversation. We’re not saying there will be tears (most times, for no reason at all), but we’re saying exactly that. There might also be a few ‘tu mera bhai/meri behen hai’s thrown around as well. Use this opportunity to unload your emotions as well so you can cry together and feel better.
The Brawler: This person is slightly dangerous post 3 pegs. They’re always looking for a fight, a slight push at the bar or imagining someone dissed them could set them off. Mostly bar-brawlers don’t really get into a fistfight but just end up screaming empty threats at each other. If they’re not your friends, please avoid – they’re usually the ones who’re already staring at you in a very ‘you wanna fight?’ way.
The Closet Singer: It’s kind of sweet how alcohol loosens up people’s inhibitions. A classic example would be that of the closet musician. At some point in the night they take up belting out one Kishore da song after the other, and even though they might not be very good, it’s pretty endearing. They start a chain reaction throughout the party and people start joining in, till it sounds like a really horrible, but highly enjoyable choir. This species is usually accompanied by the closet dancer, and honestly, you need at least one of both.
The Lightweight: Sigh, we’ve met way too many of these. Mostly seen being nursed to some form of consciousness by the heavyweights who’ll probably be up all night doing the same thing, the lightweights are just there to pass out. One shot, 2 beers, 5 Thums Up – you never know what’s going to lead to them purging their guts in the bathroom or just falling asleep in humanly impossible positions. Pro: If you surround yourself with enough lightweights, you cut many costs but also end up being a nanny to grown adults. Choose wisely.
